Pack your knives and go

Feminist hero and possible historical crow Susan B. Anthony once said "failure is impossible." I highly doubt that Susan ever tried to make hollandaise sauce.

If there are two things that I have learned from obsessively watching "Top Chef" on Bravo, they are:
1. If you can't cook eggs, you can't cook.
2. If you can't make a good hollandaise, you aren't a good chef.

I, apparently, am neither of these things. Last night I felt genius burn and I decided to embark on the deceptively simple mission of creating a twist on Eggs Benedict; a poached egg served on top of a thick slice of sourdough bread, fresh asparagus and smothered in hollandaise sauce. Sounds Delicious, right? "Simple," I thought. "Quick," I mused. Innovative! New! Challenging, but in a good way! "Get out there," I told myself, "try something new!"

To be fair, I have never in my life poached an egg or made hollandaise. But I was determined. So, armed with a hollandaise recipe from Food and Wine, I set forth into the kitchen.

The hollandaise, was, frankly a disaster. I think the double-boiler method recommended by F&W made the bowl too hot, and the yoke basically cooked on contact. Second reading of the recipe suggested I should have held the bowl over the steaming water while whisking and slowly adding ingredients. WHO HAS THAT MANY HANDS??? I added the butter too fast. The sauce never thickened, only sorta curtailed, despite my most furious whipping.

The egg poaching started off promising but ended in ruins; I am without egg poaching tools, but I cam up with the what I still believe to be genius idea of cooking the egg inside silicone muffin wrappers, which I have always regarded as silly. It worked fabulously for the eggs, they kept their shape and would have come out perfectly. However, I completely over-cooked the eggs. The yoke was solid. Not the soft clouds I wanted perched on my benedict. Hard white masses.

So will overdone eggs and not-smooth hollandaise sauce I admitted early defeat. But, to be honest, it wasn't half bad when all together. The overdone egg was much more of a travesty since it just sat awkwardly on top of the asparagus and make it difficult to eat and break apart. Plus there was none of that gooey inner egg that softens the bread and makes the Benedict so rich and good. The hollandaise, although without the correct texture, wasn't bad tasting; it's difficult to screw up the taste of something that's ingredients include butter, egg and lemon.

And the meal was quick, if nothing else. And although you may have bested me this one time General Benedict, I will return to battle once again.

Pictures to come.